The never change mantra.

Recently I had a debate with someone over facebook about something that is trivial to the point of this post. More what I want to talk about is the person's reaction. She indicated that our views were just differeing, so our debate was getting nowhere, which was very true. She indicated also that her view would never change, and this is where I jumped again. I told her, "Views change all the time, even when we're not aware of it right away," which I believe to be exceptionally true, especially considering my experiences with changing. Her rebuttle was, "Sorry mine won't, that's just how I feel and always have." Now, I highly doubt that, but I knew that she was going to be adament in this statement, just as others are adament in this sort of statement.

I've noticed too that a lot of people, in particular youth, are shouting the cry of "I'm not going to change, accept me as I am, I'm not changing for anyone!" Blahdy, blahdy, blah. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude (really, I don't), these sorts of statements just irritate me, even though I was once one of those people shouting it at the top of my lungs (perhaps especially because I was one of those people). I'd write lyrics about not changing for anyone (including "never gonna change me / I will always be the same / I am never gonna change." Jeez, I'm glad I've changed, if only because those lyrics are terrible, haha), and how I would always be the same forever. Nowadays, all I can say is that is complete and utter nonsense. No matter what we think, we change, and more importantly, we change because of people. The change isn't necessarily intentional or conscious, but it happens. Really, if you had never changed from when you were a child, you wouldn't be where you are today. Simple as that.

I also get the impression that these people feel that change is the most terrible thing in the world. I understand the "accept me as I am" part; I think that we should accept each other for what we are, not who we want each other to be. Who are you to tell me who I should be? Changing because someone wants you to is one thing, and not something that I necessarily agree with. Changing because it happens is another, and it's not terrible. People change positively influence who you are and where you head in life. I for instance have so many people to thank for who I am today that it's ridiculous (thanks, all!). I changed because of their influencing my life. It's not a bad thing. I'm not some terrible person now because of it; in fact, I think that I'm probably happier because of it, but that's another story all together. Essentially, it boils down to this: Opinions change. People change. That's how life works. It's wonderful and condusive to functioning in society.

Mostly what I'm getting at is hearing people say that they're never going to change drives me up the wall. Seriously, it's not that big a deal. At the risk of sounding like a complete bitch, get over it. The more and louder you shout that you're never going to change, the more I want to tell you to stop being an idiot, which is perhaps really unfair, because I'm sure there were people who wanted to say that to me when I was shouting the never change mantra. I should be sympathetic, not irritated. I do understand where you're coming from, but being so narrow minded in that sense makes me want to beat some sense into you.

You will change. You just don't realize it yet. :)